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Do you desire more joy in your marriage? I am willing to bet that your response to that question is a resounding yes! Of course, we all want to experience more joy in life and in our relationships, especially when it comes to our marriage. We know that when we are in a “positive state” we tend to be more pleasant with the people closest to us, and as a result, experience more joy.

The question is, how do we get more of it? Well, we have discovered that one way to experience more of God’s joy in our marriage is to pray and meditate on the Holy Rosary’s Joyful Mysteries and Spiritual Fruit. If you don’t pray the Rosary, we invite you to please consider it and start a new ritual that you can practice together as a couple. You can do it alone, but we can speak from personal experience, when you do it together as a couple, it just brings it to another level. It’s a great opportunity to raise your minds and hearts to Our Blessed Mother and ask for her powerful intercessions for your marriage. She will bring your petitions to our Lord and help you obtain the graces you need to be the best spouse you can be.

As Catholics, we are blessed to have so many resources to help us navigate through the many challenges of life. One of the most powerful resources available to us is the Rosary. Praying and meditating on the Rosary is a great way to go deeper in our faith and to allow the grace of God to enter our souls. As you pray the Rosary and meditate on the 5 Joyful Mysteries and Spiritual Fruit, think about your marital relationship and the areas that you need to work on to help renew your marriage, and experience more of God’s joy.

The 5 Joyful Mysteries and Spiritual Fruit are; The Annunciation/Spiritual Fruit: Humility, The Visitation/Spiritual Fruit: Love of Neighbor, The Birth of Jesus/Spiritual Fruit: Detachment, The Presentation/Spiritual Fruit: Obedience, The Finding of the Child Jesus in the Temple/Spiritual Fruit: Perseverance. We will go into each Mystery and Spiritual Fruit and share how you can integrate them with your marriage.

The Annunciation – Spiritual Fruit: Humility – “The angel Gabriel said to Mary: “Hail full of grace, the Lord is with you. Blessed are you among women…You shall conceive and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus…Mary answered, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it done to me according to your word.” Mary didn’t exactly know how God’s plan was going to work but was humble enough to say “yes” and trust that it would somehow work out. Through her humility and trust, something good and amazing happened.

What about you? As you think about your marriage, are there areas in your relationship that you should be practicing more humility? Think about something good that can come from choosing to practice more humility in your marriage. Perhaps you can step outside of your “comfort zone” of always doing things your way, and try a different or new approach. Sometimes I need to put my own personal preferences aside, and humble myself to listen with my heart to try to understand my wife’s perspective. We should think about how we are responding to God’s invitation to humble ourselves. Ask yourself, is pride hardening your heart that you cannot hear God speak to you? Are you allowing his grace to work in you? Ezekiel 36:26 reminds us that God desires to remove our hearts of stone; “I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.” Meditate on the Spiritual Fruit of Humility and ask our Lord to grant you the grace of humility to listen to your spouse with a servant heart and putting their needs before your own.

The Visitation – Spiritual Fruit: Love of Neighbor – “Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit and cried out in a loud voice: Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb…The moment your greeting sounded in my ears, the babe in my womb leapt for joy.” Mary’s loving heart prompted her to go visit her cousin Elizabeth and live out our Lord’s words in John 13:35 “This is how all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Are you being intentional and thoughtful about the most important relationships in your life, especially your spouse? We should be intentional about how we want to experience the day and look for ways to demonstrate our love for our spouse. It can be in small ways such as making them a cup of coffee in the morning, inviting them to go for a walk or do a fun activity, or just being kind and charitable. Making daily “decisions-to-love” can go a long way and bear fruit in your relationship. The point is to be intentional about how you choose to love your spouse. Sometimes with our busy schedules we put our spouse last and neglect to nourish our marriage. Look for creative ways to meet the needs of your spouse, lighten their burdens, and feed your marriage with love deposits.

The Birth of Jesus – Spiritual Fruit: Detachment – “And it came to pass while they were there, that the days for Mary to be delivered were fulfilled. And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes and laid him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the Inn.” Our Lord came into this world in poverty to teach us the lesson of detachment from earthly things. He completely emptied himself for us because He loves us, and desires to be one with us. What about you? Are there things that you need to detach from, for the good of your spouse and marriage?

How can you make the birth of Jesus relevant in your marriage? Are you making room for Jesus in your relationship? Or are you choosing to leave Him out? For many years in our marriage, we didn’t make room for God in our relationship, we believed we could do it on our own, but eventually as life grew more stressful and complicated, we realized that we could not do it on our own. The words of our Lord in John 15:5 reminded us that we need to invite Christ into our marriage. “I am the vine, you are the branches. Whoever remains in me and I in him will bear much fruit, because without me you can do nothing.” There were two key things that we changed in order to improve our marital relationship; our mindset and our actions. We were only able to do that through God’s grace.

As you think about your marriage, reflect on the things that you need to detach from in order for God’s grace to work in your marriage. Is it certain old habits, attitudes, pride and stubbornness? Are you spending too much time on self-indulgence, sports, social media or projects around the house? We invite you to take some quite time to sit down and write down all the things and activities that are taking up space in your life and not serving your marriage. If we are really honest with ourselves, we can all come up with a long list. By choosing to detach and emptying ourselves from these things, we can allow God’s grace to fill us up with His light and love so that we can share it with our spouse. Holy Scripture tells us to seek first the Kingdom of God and then all other things will be taken care of. Matthew 6:33 “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides.” We should also look to the Holy Family as an example to follow for our own marriage and family. Let us not be like the Inn that did not have room for the Holy Family, but in contrast, invite them into our hearts and home.

The Presentation – Spiritual Fruit: Obedience – “When the days of her purification were fulfilled, they took him up to Jerusalem to present him to the Lord…Simeon blessed them and said to his Mother, Behold, this child is destined for the fall and for the rise of many in Israel, and for a sign that shall be contradicted; and thy own soul a sword shall pierce.” To remain obedient to the Law of the Lord; that every first-born male shall be consecrated to the Lord, Our Blessed Mother took Jesus to the Temple to be presented.

Are you presenting your marital needs and pain to God through a devoted prayer life and the sacraments? The Sacrament of Reconciliation is a good way to start the healing process for any hurt that has occurred in your relationship. Many times, couples cannot move forward because past offenses have not been adequately addressed through forgiveness and healing. It’s important to remember that it’s never too late to go to confession, regardless of how long it’s been, know that our merciful Lord is awaiting to grant you the grace you need to forgive one another. Confession will allow you to have a clean heart and mind to clearly discern God’s will for your marriage. Matthew 5:8 “Blessed are the clean of heart, for they will see God.”

A devoted prayer life, spending time meditating on God’s word, and a strong commitment to the sacraments, can help you grow in virtue, which is essential to remaining obedient to God’s plan for your marriage. Prayer will help you stay connected to God and allow the Holy Spirit to help you live out a marriage that honors God. Your commitment to attending Mass together as a family will help you obtain the blessings you need to build and maintain a strong and loving union.

The Finding of the Child Jesus in the Temple – Spiritual Fruit: Perseverance – “After three days they found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions…and he returned with his parents to Nazareth, and was obedient to them.” Although Mary and St. Joseph did not know where Jesus was for several days, they didn’t lose hope and quit, through perseverance they kept searching until they found him.

When your marriage is faced with challenges, tribulations, and uncertainty, how do you respond? Do you want to give up and quit? Or do you persevere in hopes of breaking through your problem and finding solutions? We pray and hope that you persevere in the midst of the challenges. It’s only through perseverance and determination that we can get to the other side of the problem and find solutions. Breaking through our problems together as a couple helps strengthen our marital union and trust in God. As Jesus was in the temple spending time in God’s house, we too should spend time with God in prayer and worship to gain clarity about our marriage and how to be the best husband or wife.

Experience God’s Joy – If you are seeking more joy and peace in your relationship, consider a devotion to the Rosary. You can start by taking small steps, such as reciting a decade a day, and slowly working your way up to 5 decades. We all live very busy and hectic lives, so it’s critical that we take time out of the day to quiet down the external noise and allow God to speak to our hearts. The Rosary is a great way to do that. It’s an opportunity to meditate on the Mysteries /Spiritual Fruit and contemplate how they relate to your life/marriage. Invite Our Blessed Mother to intercede for your marriage and experience more of God’s joy!

If you want to learn how you can experience more joy in your marriage, we invite you to check out our FREE TRAINING “The MASS Formula to Transform Your Marriage ” and discover the 4 key elements in creating a happy and fulfilling marriage!